Some Common Mistakes in Ramadaan Lets Strive Not to Repeat the Same.

Some Common Mistakes in Ramadaan

Lets Strive Not to Repeat the Same.

By Asma bint Shameem





1 : Taking Ramadaan as a ritual



For many of us Ramadaan has lost its spirituality and has become more of a ritual than a form of Ibaadah. We fast from morning to night like a zombie just because everyone around us is fasting too. We forget that its a time to purify our hearts and our souls from all evil....we forget to make dua, forget to beseech Allaah to forgive us and ask Him to save us from the Fire. Sure we stay away from food and drink but that's about all.



Although the Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) said:

“Jibreel said to me, May Allaah rub his nose in the dust, that person to who Ramadaan comes and his sins are not forgiven, and I said, Ameen.

Then he said, May Allaah rub his nose in the dust, that person who lives to see his parents grow old, one or both of them, but he does not enter Paradise (by not serving them) and I said, Ameen.

Then he said, May Allaah rub his nose in the dust, that person in whose presence you are mentioned and he does not send blessings upon you, and I said, Ameen.’�

(Tirmidhi, Ahmad, others. Saheeh by al-Albaani)



2 : Too much stress on food and drink



For some people, the entire month of Ramadaan revolves around food. They spend the ENTIRE day planning, cooking, shopping and thinking about only food, instead of concentrating on Salaah, Quraan and other acts of worship. All they can think of is FOOD. So much so that they turn the month of fasting into the month of feasting. Come Iftaar time, their table is a sight to see, with the multitudes and varieties of food, sweets and drinks. They are missing the very purpose of fasting, and thus, increase in their greed and desires instead of learning to control them. It is also a kind of waste & extravagance.



".....and eat and drink but waste not by extravagance, certainly He (Allaah) likes not Al-Musrifoon (those who waste by extravagance) " [al-Araaf :31]



3 : Spending all day cooking



Some of the sisters (either by their own choice or forced by their husbands) are cooking ALL day and ALL night, so that by the end of the day, they are too tired to even pray Ishaa, let alone pray Taraweeh or Tahajjud or even read Quraan. This is the month of mercy and forgiveness. So turn off that stove and turn on your Imaan!



4 : Eating too much



Some people stuff themselves at Suhoor until they are ready to burst, because they think this is the way to not feel hungry during the day and some people eat at Iftaar, like there is no tomorrow, trying to make up for the food missed. However, this is completely against the Sunnah. Moderation is the key to everything.



The Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) said: "The son of Adam does not fill any vessel worse than his stomach; for the son of Adam a few mouthfuls are sufficient to keep his back straight. If you must fill it, then one-third for food, one-third for drink and one-third for air." (Tirmidhi, Ibn Maajah. saheeh by al-Albaani).



Too much food distracts a person from many deeds of obedience and worship, makes him lazy and also makes the heart heedless.

It was said to Imam Ahmad: Does a man find any softness and humility in his heart when he is full? He said, I do not think so.



5 : Sleeping all day



Some people spend their entire day (or a major part of it) sleeping away their fast. Is this what is really required of us during this noble month? These people also are missing the purpose of fasting and are slaves to their desires of comfort and ease. They cannot bear to be awake and face a little hunger or exert a little self-control. For a fasting person to spend most of the day asleep is nothing but, negligence on his part.





6 : Wasting time



The month of Ramadaan is a precious, precious time, so much so that Allaah calls this month "Ayyamum Madoodaat" (A fixed number of days). Before we know it, this month of mercy and forgiveness will be over. We should try and spend every moment possible in the worship of Allaah so that we can make the most of this blessing. However, there are some of us who waste away their day playing video games, or worse still, watching TV, movies or even listening to music. Subhaan Allaah! Trying to obey Allaah by DISOBEYING him!



7 : Fasting but not giving up evil



Some of us fast but do not give up lying, cursing, fighting, backbiting, etc. and some of us fast but do not give up cheating, stealing, dealing in haraam, buying lotto tickets, selling alcohol, fornication, etc. and all kinds of impermissible things without realizing that the purpose of fasting is to not stay away from food and drink; rather the aim behind it is to fear Allaah.



“O you who believe! Fasting is prescribed for you as it was prescribed for those before you, that you may become Al-Muttaqoon (the pious)� [al-Baqarah 2:183]



The Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) said: "Whoever does not give up false speech and acting upon it, and ignorance, Allaah has no need of him giving up his food and drink." (Bukhaari)



8 : Smoking



Smoking is forbidden in Islam whether during Ramadaan or outside of it, as it is one of al-Khabaaith (evil things). And this includes ALL kinds of smoking material eg.cigars, cigarettes, pipes, sheesha, hookah etc.

"he allows them as lawful At Tayyibaat (all good and lawful things), and prohibits them as unlawful Al Khabaa'ith (all evil and unlawful things) [al-Araaf :157]



It is harmful, not only to the one smoking, but also to the ones around him. It is also a means of wasting ones wealth.

The Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) said: "There should be no harming or reciprocating harm."

This is especially true during fasting and it invalidates the fast. (Fatwa -Ibn Uthaymeen)



9 : Skipping Suhoor



The Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) said: "Eat suhoor for in suhoor there is blessing."(Bukhaari, Muslim).



And he (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) said: "The thing that differentiates between our fasting and the fasting of the People of the Book is eating suhoor." (Muslim)



10 : Stopping Suhoor at Imsaak



Some people stop eating Suhoor 10-15 minutes earlier than the time of Fajr to observe Imsaak.



Shaykh Ibn Uthaymeen said: This is a kind of bidah (innovation) which has no basis in the Sunnah. Rather the Sunnah is to do the opposite. Allaah allows us to eat until dawn: "and eat and drink until the white thread (light) of dawn appears to you distinct from the black thread (darkness of night)" [al-Baqarah 2:187]



And the Prophet (pbuh) said: "….eat and drink until you hear the adhaan of Ibn Umm Maktoom, for he does not give the adhaan until dawn comes."



This imsaak which some of the people do is an addition to what Allaah has prescribed, so it is false. It is a kind of extremism in religion, and the Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) said:

"Those who go to extremes are doomed, those who go to extremes are doomed, those who go to extremes are doomed." (Muslim)





11 : Not fasting if they missed Suhoor



Some people are too scared to fast if they miss Suhoor. However, this is a kind of cowardice and love of ease.. What is the big deal if you missed a few morsels of food? Its not like you will die. Remember, obedience to Allaah overcomes everything.



12 : Saying the intention to fast out loud or saying a specific dua to start fasting



The intention is an action of the heart. We should resolve in our heart that we are going to fast tomorrow. That is all we need. It is not prescribed by the Shariah for us to say out loud, "I intend to fast", "I will fast tomorrow" or other phrases that have been innovated by some people. Also, there is no specific dua to be recited at the time of starting the fast in the correct Sunnah. Whatever dua you may see on some papers or Ramadaan calendars, etc. is a Bidah.



read more :
Uttering the intention to fast out loud is an innovation (bidah)
http://groups. yahoo.com/ group/LoveIslam_ LiveIslam/ message/258

Authentic & UnAuthentic Dua for Iftaar !!!
http://groups. yahoo.com/ group/LoveIslam_ LiveIslam/ message/263



13 : Delaying breaking fast



Some people wait until the adhaan finishes or even several minutes after that, just to be on the safe side. However, the Sunnah is to hasten to break the fast, which means breaking fast whenever the adhaan starts, right after the sun has set. Aaishah (RA) said: This is what the Messenger of Allaah (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) used to do. (Muslim)



The Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) said: "The people will continue to do well so long as they hasten to break the fast." (Bukhaari, Muslim)



Determine to the best of your ability, the accuracy of your clock, calendar, etc. and then have tawakkul on Allaah and break your fast exactly on time.



14 : Eating continuously until the time for Maghrib is up



Some people put so much food in their plates when breaking their fast and continue eating, enjoying dessert, drinking tea, etc., until they miss Maghrib. That is obviously not right. The Sunnah of the Prophet (pbuh) was that once he broke his fast with some dates, them he would hasten to the prayer. Once you are done with the prayer, you can always go back and eat some more if you wish.



15 : Missing the golden chance of having your Dua accepted



The prayer of the fasting person is guaranteed to be accepted at the time of breaking fast.



The Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) said: "Three prayers are not rejected: the prayer of a father, the prayer of a fasting person, and the prayer of a traveler." (al-Bayhaqi, saheeh by al-Albaani).



Instead of sitting down and making Dua at this precious time, some people forego this beautiful chance, and are too busy frying samosas, talking, setting the food, filling their plates and glasses, etc. Think about it.....Is food more important than the chance to have your sins forgiven or the fulfillment of your Duas.





16 : Fasting but not praying



The fasting of one who does not pray WILL NOT BE ACCEPTED. This is because not praying constitutes kufr as the Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) said: "Between a man and shirk and kufr there stands his giving up prayer." (Muslim)



In fact, NONE of his good deeds will be accepted; rather, they are all annulled.

"Whoever does not pray Asr, his good deeds will be annulled." (Bukhaari)



17 : Fasting and not wearing Hijaab



Not wearing the Hijaab is a major sin as it is obligatory for Muslim women. (See Surah Nur, Surah Ahzaab). So fasting and not wearing hijaab certainly takes away enormously from the rewards of fasting, even if does not invalidate it.



18 : Not fasting because of exams or work



Exams or work is NOT one of the excuses allowed by the Shariah to not fast. You can do your studying and revision at night if it is too hard to do that during the day. Also remember that pleasing and obeying Allaah is much more important than good grades. Besides, if you will fulfil your obligation to fast, even if you have to study, Allaah will make it easy for you and help you in everything you do.



"Whosoever fears Allah, He will appoint for him a way out and provide for him from where he does not expect, Allah is Sufficient for whosoever puts his trust in Him." (Surah at-Talaaq 2-3)



19 : Mixing fasting and dieting



DO NOT make the mistake of fasting with the intention to diet. That is one of the biggest mistakes some of us make (esp. sisters). Fasting is an act of worship and can only be for the sake of Allah alone.



Otherwise, mixing it with the intention of dieting may become a form of (minor) Shirk.



20 : Fighting over the number of Rakaah of Taraweeh



There is no specific number of rakahs for Taraweeh prayer, rather it is permissible to do a little or a lot. Both 8 and 20 are okay. Shaykh Ibn Uthaymeen said: "No one should be denounced for praying eleven or twenty-three (rakaah), because the matter is broader in scope than that, praise be to Allaah."





21 : Praying ONLY on the night of the 27th



Some people pray ONLY on the 27th to seek Lailat ul-Qadr, neglecting all other odd nights, although the Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) said: "Seek Lailat ul-Qadr among the odd numbered nights of the last ten nights of Ramadaan." (Bukhaari, Muslim).



22 : Wasting the last part of Ramadaan preparing for Eid



Some people waste the entire last 10 days of Ramadaan preparing for Eid, shopping and frequenting malls, etc. neglecting Ibadah and Lailatul Qadr. although, the Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) used to strive the hardest during the last ten days of Ramadaan in worship (Ahmad, Muslim) and not in shopping. Buy whatever you need for Eid before Ramadaan so that you can utilize the time in Ramadaan to the max.



Aaishah (RA) said: “When the (last) ten nights began, the Messenger of Allaah (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam)) would tighten his waist-wrapper (i.e., strive hard in worship or refrain from intimacy with his wives), stay awake at night and wake his family.� (Bukhaari and Muslim).



23 : Iftaar parties



Although inviting each other for breaking fast is something good and encouraged, some people go to extremes with lavish Iftaar parties with all sorts of disobedience to Allaah, from flirting, mixing of the sexes and hijaab-less women, to show-off and extravagance, to heedlessness to Salaah, and Taraweeh to even music and dancing.

Selamat Menyambut Ramadhan!

Salam semua,

Apa khabar? Harap semuanya sihat. Sempena menjelang Ramadhan ini kami ingin mengucapkan selamat menyambut Bulan Ramadhan yang mulia. Semoga kedatangan bulan yang penuh berkat ini membolehkan kita beribadat dengan lebih banyak & mendekatkan diri kita dengan Allah S.W.T.

Sempena bulan Ramadhan ini kita ada promosi hebat iaitu diskaun 30% untuk semua produk Herbal Life bagi semua pesanan/orders sebelum 31 Ogos 2009. Ini bermakna, harga sempena promosi untuk produk adalah seperti berikut:

1. Formula 1 - Biasa RM158.76 slps 30% cuma RM114.66 ANDA JIMAT RM44.10
2. Formula 3 - Biasa RM112.32 slps 30% cuma RM81.12 ANDA JIMAT RM31.20
3. Tea Mix - Lemon & Hibiscus - Biasa RM125.28 slps 30% cuma RM90.48 ANDA JIMAT RM34.80

Caj Penghantaran cuma RM15.00 sahaja.Sekiranya berminat bolehlah SMS ke 0162626741 untuk membuat tempahan.
Tawaran ini terhad untuk semua pesanan sebelum 31 Ogos 2009. Sila wawarkan kepada keluarga & rakan-rakan yang berminat untuk mendapatkan penjimatan ini.

Sempena bulan Ramadhan ini adalah peluang terbaik kalau nak jaga kesihatan atau untuk kurangkan berat badan. Menu bagi bulan Ramdahan adalah;
Sahur - Formula 1 Shake + Tea Mix + Air Kosong 1 Liter
Buka Puasa - Buka macam biasa + Tea Mix (tenaga utk solat terawikh) + Air Kosong 1 Liter
Selepas Solat Terawikh - Formula 1 Shake + Air Kosong 1 Liter

Disiplin sepanjang Ramdhan, InsyaAllah boleh lebih sihat, bertenaga dan turunkan berat badan. Manalah tahu kalau ada rezeki by raya tahun ini YOU will feel & look much, much better. InsyaAllah. Kita usaha sama-sama.

To your success!

H1N1- Unpublicized preventative steps (Personal)

Subject: FW: H1N1- Unpublicized preventative steps (Personal)

Thanks to media hype about H1N1, I’ve received calls from several who trust me, to advise. The hype in media about the utility of face masks and N95 as a tool for general protection against H1N1 can’t be deplored enough. Today, a friend who listened wanted me to write down briefly what I advised so that he could tell others in similar words. Hence this short email to friends whom I have advised recently. Please realize that this is not an official advice, especially the one about face masks or N95.

Most N95 respirators are designed to filter 95% particulates of 0.3µ, while the size of H1N1 virus is about 0.1µ. Hence, dependence on N95 to protect against H1N1 is like protecting against rain with an umbrella made of mosquito net.

Tamiflu does not kill but prevents H1N1 from further proliferation. H1N1, like other Influenza A viruses, only infects the upper respiratory tracts and proliferates (only) there. The only portals of entry are the nostrils and mouth/ throat. In a global epidemic of this nature, it’s almost impossible not coming into contact with H1N1 in spite of all precautions. Contact with H1N1 is not the problem but proliferation is.

While you are still healthy and not showing any symptoms of H1N1 infection , in order to prevent proliferation, aggravation of symptoms and development of secondary infections, some very simple steps — not fully highlighted in most official communications — can be practised (instead of focusing on how to stock N95 or Tamiflu):

1. Hand-washing (well highlighted in all official communications)
2. “Hands-off-the-face” approach. Resist all temptations to touch any part of face (unless you want to eat, bathe or slap).
3. Gargle twice a day with warm salt water (use Listerine if you don’t trust salt). H1N1 takes 2-3 days after initial infection in the throat to proliferate and show characteristic symptoms. Simple gargling prevents proliferation. In a way, gargling with salt water has the same effect on a healthy individual that Tamiflu has on an infected one. Don’t underestimate this simple, inexpensive and powerful preventative method.
4. Similar to 3 above, clean your nostrils at least once every day with warm salt water. Not everybody may be good at Sutra Neti (a very good Yoga asana to clean the nasal cavities), but blowing the nose hard once a day and swabbing both nostrils with cotton buds dipped in warm salt water is very effective in bringing down viral population.

Happy breathing!

Best regards.
-Prabhakar

H1N1- Unpublicized preventative steps (Personal)

Subject: FW: H1N1- Unpublicized preventative steps (Personal)

Thanks to media hype about H1N1, I’ve received calls from several who trust me, to advise. The hype in media about the utility of face masks and N95 as a tool for general protection against H1N1 can’t be deplored enough. Today, a friend who listened wanted me to write down briefly what I advised so that he could tell others in similar words. Hence this short email to friends whom I have advised recently. Please realize that this is not an official advice, especially the one about face masks or N95.

Most N95 respirators are designed to filter 95% particulates of 0.3µ, while the size of H1N1 virus is about 0.1µ. Hence, dependence on N95 to protect against H1N1 is like protecting against rain with an umbrella made of mosquito net.

Tamiflu does not kill but prevents H1N1 from further proliferation. H1N1, like other Influenza A viruses, only infects the upper respiratory tracts and proliferates (only) there. The only portals of entry are the nostrils and mouth/ throat. In a global epidemic of this nature, it’s almost impossible not coming into contact with H1N1 in spite of all precautions. Contact with H1N1 is not the problem but proliferation is.

While you are still healthy and not showing any symptoms of H1N1 infection , in order to prevent proliferation, aggravation of symptoms and development of secondary infections, some very simple steps — not fully highlighted in most official communications — can be practised (instead of focusing on how to stock N95 or Tamiflu):

1. Hand-washing (well highlighted in all official communications)
2. “Hands-off-the-face” approach. Resist all temptations to touch any part of face (unless you want to eat, bathe or slap).
3. Gargle twice a day with warm salt water (use Listerine if you don’t trust salt). H1N1 takes 2-3 days after initial infection in the throat to proliferate and show characteristic symptoms. Simple gargling prevents proliferation. In a way, gargling with salt water has the same effect on a healthy individual that Tamiflu has on an infected one. Don’t underestimate this simple, inexpensive and powerful preventative method.
4. Similar to 3 above, clean your nostrils at least once every day with warm salt water. Not everybody may be good at Sutra Neti (a very good Yoga asana to clean the nasal cavities), but blowing the nose hard once a day and swabbing both nostrils with cotton buds dipped in warm salt water is very effective in bringing down viral population.

Happy breathing!

Best regards.
-Prabhakar

Foods That Burn Calories!

Foods That Burn Calories!

by LIVESTRONG.COM, on Fri Jul 24, 2009 4:39pm PDT

Eat Foods High in Fiber
Celery and cabbage have long been touted as "calorie burning" foods, simply because the energy used to digest these foods is greater than the energy, or calories, ingested by eating the foods. An added benefit of these foods is that they are fibrous and filling, which means you will feel satisfied faster and on many fewer calories that other food choices. Keep in mind, however, that you don't want your caloric intake to be too low to cause a drop in metabolism. When your metabolism drops, you will retain more weight as the body responds to what it thinks is a period of malnutrition.
Vitamin C is also believed to be a calorie burner and a weight loss booster. Foods that are high in Vitamin C and also high in fiber and low in calories include oranges, tangerines (fresh, not canned), grapefruit (which are 90 percent water!), limes and lemons.

Eat Low-Fat Dairy Products
Recent studies have been pointing to the fact that dieters who eat at least two to three servings of low-fat dairy products a day, like cottage cheese and yogurt, lose weight faster, keep it off longer, and lose more weight in the belly area than dieters who don't include dairy products in their diets.

Easy lunch additions include single-serving sizes of low-fat string cheese, individually wrapped low-fat cheese wedges, milk cartons (not just for elementary school cafeterias anymore) and even fat-free sour cream in place of other condiments.

Choose Foods Rich in B12
Eggs, milk, low-fat cheese and cereals that have been vitamin-enriched are all good sources of vitamin B12. Some sources state that B12 increases the body's fat-burning ability. Every gram of fat equals 9 calories, so when you burn fat, you burn calories, too. Vitamin B12 is also known to fight fatigue and speed up the metabolism, which are benefits that can give a boost to any dieter.

For more about burning up calories and losing weight, check out livestrong.com/eat-well/.

10 phrases that I always either delete or find substitutes for...

Here are the 10 phrases that I always either delete or find substitutes for as I review writing samples:

1. "Yours very truly" (also "Sincerely yours" and "Very truly yours"). You are not theirs. These closings are antiquated. I find myself using "Sincerely" almost all the time.

2. "Respectfully" - This closing has a solemn, almost hat-in-hand aspect to it that I dislike. I see it used in denial letters all the time. Perhaps what the writer is thinking is this: "If I use 'Respectfully,' it will soften the blow." But, of course, it doesn't. It just adds a somber tone and won't make the reader any happier about having his or her claim denied.

3. "Please be advised ..." - A lawyer-like phrase that is almost always unnecessary. Usually you are not so much giving "advice" as you are "telling' or "informing." Save this phrase for the act of giving of advice. But no need to write: "Please be advised that the check is overdue." Simply write: "The check is overdue." Instead of "I advised him to call me tomorrow," just write "I told [or asked] him to call me tomorrow." Maybe "told has a bit too harsh a tone for some, in which case feel free to use this "advice" as needed. But "advise" or "be advised" is almost always overkill.

4. "Kindly" - "Please" works better than this old fashioned word.

5. "I have forwarded..." "I am forwarding" - In e- mail, "forwarding" does have a specific meaning: the sending of materials from someone other than the writer to the reader. In other cases (e.g., I am forwarding my business card to you), just use "send."

6. "Above-captioned" (also: "above referenced") - Any of these phrases tells the reader to stop reading, roll his eyes back to the "RE line," find the information, and then re-enter the letter to continue its reading. Wouldn't it be easier to just summarize the salient information in the letter itself? In other words, if the "above-mentioned claim" refers to "Smith vs. Jones," why not write, "In the Smith vs. Jones claim..." Sometimes the "above" will refer to a claim number. In this case, just put the claim number in the letter itself. The trick in writing is to keep the reader reading with as few distractions as possible.

7. "Please do not hesitate to contact me." - I'll refrain from writing, "If I had a dollar for every time I see this phrase used...." because then I'd be using a cliché to criticize a cliché'! The prevalent "please do not hesitate" was a light, bright phrase when it was coined almost a half-century ago, but now, like most clichés, it pays a price for its popularity. When you use a cliché, you subtly send a message to your reader that you think in clichés. So, innocuous as this phrase may sound, it does portray its writer as blandly impersonal. Use: "please call me," polite with out the cliché connection.

8. "Please note that..." Again, here's a phrase that may seem innocent but it has, for me, a rather schoolmarmish tone ( "Now, pay attention!") I'd omit the phrase.

9. "Enclosed please find." - This phrase, more than any other in the world of business writing, epitomizes the lawyer-like way people start to write when they are either desperate to avoid using a pronoun like "I" or simply love to repeat phrases they've seen in other letters without ever thinking for themselves. After all, what do you have to "find"?

That reminds me of a joke. A guy goes into a restaurant and orders a steak dinner. Later, the waiter walks over table, smiles obsequiously, and asks "How did you find your steak?" The guy looks at the waiter and says, "I just moved the mashed potatoes--and there it was!"

When The Beatles were returning home after coming to the United States, a journalist asked them: "How did you find America?" One of the Fab Four answered, "We turned left at Greenland."

Enough said! There's nothing to "find." Use "enclosed is..." or "I've enclosed."

10. "Under separate cover" - When you write, "I am sending you this "under separate cover," you are perpetuating a formalistic and old fashioned phrase. When I hear the word "cover," I think of a big spaghetti pot and that reminds me to "boil down" the thought to read, "I am sending you it separately [or by FedEx, etc.]"

If you see these phrases all the time, maybe it's time to train some of your people to sharpen their writing, to make sure it moves your company forward. If you'd like to know how some companies are training their people to write more effectively, let me know!

Helping Others – and Yourself – Grow

Weekly tips to help you and your colleagues become more effective and respected leaders.

Helping Others – and Yourself – Grow
Through Mentoring

Men-tor n. A wise and trusted counselor or teacher.

Looking for a way to help your people develop, grow, and improve their performance? Like to do the same for yourself? If so, you need to try MENTORING. If ever there was a “win-win” process, this is it!

By definition, mentoring is a relationship between an experienced person and a less experienced person for the purpose of helping the individual with less experience learn and grow. Mentoring is a great way to serve your people … and yourself. As team members develop in both knowledge and skills, their performance naturally improves. When that happens, everyone wins. And you’ll find that YOU grow by mentoring, as well. As you reflect on your life experiences and distill them into nuggets to share with others, you “re-experience” the wisdom that’s inside of you. What’s wrong with that picture? NOTHING!

So, consider adding mentoring to your leadership strategies. And as you do, keep the following in mind:

All mentoring relationships need to focus on the people being mentored. Remember that it’s not about you – it’s about them. Accept them for who they are. Help them advance at their own place.

Avoid treating people you are mentoring as incompetent or incapable. Rather, think of them as individuals lacking in experience … valuable team members who need guidance. And don’t forget where YOU came from. Earlier in your career, you didn’t know what you know now. Why should they?

Don’t criticize or belittle. Instead, help “mentorees” think through the consequences of their behavior and to identify more positive ways of handling difficult or troubling situations. And, by all means, hold the people you are mentoring responsible for their success. Be willing to give of yourself and your time, but insist that they do the same.