Thursday, October 18, 2012

Keluarga Bahagia! Amalkan 7P!

It’s really early in the morning and in about a couple of hours from now we will be doing a training session. While getting ready we switched on the telly to catch up on the latest news and we found a channel that was talking about morning motivation. We thought to ourselves, this is awesome!

The speaker shared an amazing talk on how to cultivate and have a Happy Family. He was speaking in Bahasa and he spoke about the 7Ps strategy to a Happy Family. So here it is.

1.   Perhatian – Give Attention
Most family fail to establish a good relationship is because the parents and the children do not give attention to one another. Especially parents now days that are very busy with day to day chores and always focusing more on their career. Their children are left with the maids. The only time the family get together is probably when they are out having dinner or lunch but that also is just a routine as everybody is busy with their own electronic device either texting or face booking or gaming away. Nobody takes notice of anybody in the family. This will result in a strained relationship. In short we have to take notice. As parents we need to acknowledge our kids. Talk to them, ask questions, get involve in their lives and really build a relationship with them. Trust us, we have three kids and they really grow up fast!

Always remember that people don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care! The best way to show people that you care is to give them perhatian or attention J

2.   Puji & Peluk – Give Compliments & Hug Them!
This a bit of a challenge especially for the majority of us as it is not in our culture to neither give compliments nor give out hugs. When we were young we were not brought up that way but as we build our own family we realized that it is so important to complement each other and our children. Praise and an encouragement can really go a long way to develop a positive attitude and confidence especially for our children. Let’s face it; we all love to get a compliment especially from the people we love. So make a point right NOW and find something nice to compliment your partner and children.

The other thing that is very important is physical touch. For family members it is essential that we hug each other. This is especially very important if a family member has physical touch as their love language.
3.   Pendidikan – Education
As parents we need to provide our children with the best education possible. Knowledge will ensure that they can survive and contribute on this planet and also prepare them for the world after.

We need to invest in their education, not just academics but also developing their soft skills and leadership skills. You can never go wrong in investing in yourself.

What we can do is to attend courses together. One of the best ways to do this is by building a business together. There are certain business opportunities out there that allow you to develop yourself and you can do it with your family. If you are looking for that kind of opportunity than go to

The other important education that we need to invest in is religious education. Your faith needs to be nurtured and developed so that your heart and soul is protected.

4.   Penghargaan – Recognition
Recognition is so important. The problem is that most of the time we wait for something huge or big to happen to give recognition. We fail to recognize the small steps it took to get there.

Just the other day, the principal at our kid’s school shared with us that the school has started a new recognition program whereby all the students who have performed in their studies and sports are it a monthly test or just s mall competition everyone is recognized immediately. He said that this has inspired students to do better because they know for every effort they put in they will be recognized regardless of the test or the results in a competition. They will be recognized just by participating.

It is the same in a family. We must recognize our partner and our children. We can do this by having a special dinner together or doing something special to recognize an achievement. It could also be symbolized with a simple gift. Anything to commemorate the effort and achievement.

5.   Pukul – Discipline or Punish
We need to discipline or punish our loved ones because they need to know what is right and what is wrong. We cannot simply keep quiet and ignore. Remember, if we do not take action and if we just remain silent they will think that we approve what they are doing.

If it’s wrong we must say it! We can share our own experience in raising our children. The other day we came upon an IPhone in the car park at one of the shopping mall that we visited. Obviously somebody must have dropped it. We took the phone and gave it to the information counter and we hoped that the owner might come looking for it. For us it was the right thing to do. That afternoon we received an SMS from the owner thanking us for returning his phone.

We shared what happened to our children. We got a surprised when our son said that why did you return the phone. You should have kept it. In fact it is REZEKI! We were shocked and we immediately scolded him for having such thoughts. We explained to him why it was wrong. The lesson here is that we need to discipline each other. We need to tegur one another. What is wrong is wrong and what is right is right. There is no grey area. For Muslims it is easy; just ask yourself if you do it would you get pahala or dosa. J

6.   Pujuk
One of the most important act in building a happy family is that after scolding or punishing someone you must pujuk them. Do not leave them. The best way to pujuk is by bringing a glass of water. Drinking water will soothe the anger and will allow for better communication. Than you follow up with words of encouragement. Forgive them and move on. Give a hug and ensure them that they are moving in the right direction. As they say, learn from the past, live in the present and plan for the future.

That way we can ensure that today will better than yesterday and that tomorrow will be better than today!

7.   Pantau - Monitor
Finally, we need to monitor. Especially today, with the access and availability of technology we are more exposed and easily influenced by people around us. It could be through social media or advertisements and through our family and friends around us.

A strong and happy family will always be on the lookout for each other. If you have kids you need to know who are their friends, what do they do. If they have Facebook, make sure that you are added as a friend. Your role is just to monitor. That is why it is so important to have a strong and trusting relationship with your family. Trust is the foundation of all relationships.

One of the best ways to monitor is by showing that you care. Remember, people don’t care what you know until they know that you care. 

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